A Family Affair

As a voluntary visitor of some fifteen years, I have recently had the harrowing experience of hearing about the traumatic abuse of a very vulnerable adult now in her sixties. It is the first time she felt she could trust someone with her story.

Her doctor persuaded her that she was a writer and only she could tell her story. I persuaded her that if she was capable of writing it down, it would be a kind of catharsis. When she phoned me to tell me that she had used pages from the exercise books I’d bought for her; that she wanted me to collect them at once and “…please get them out of my house…I never want to see them again…” I went to see at once, and spent over an hour trying to calm her and convince her that her story needed to be told – as she wanted, so that others might gain strength from her experiences.

Her story is heartbreaking to read. Most of the perpetrators are dead, although some family members are still alive, and for this reason the victim divulges no names. The fact that the main perpetrator was her mother’s brother and that the abuse started in the victim’s cot adds to the horror, but that that violation was never acknowledged by the victim’s family who blamed her; vilified her; and told her that she was ugly; that she smelled foul, and that no one would believe her – adds to the nightmare.

As in a recent BBC documentary, children have the right to expect their family to protect them – not be the abusers whose abuse destroys any chance of them ever entering into any kind of adult relationship; especially when that abuse persists – even into the victim’s teens, and precipitates their seeking freedom by opting to go to a college far from the home in the hope that the abuse will end.

This is yet another story of a child abused, traumatised and victimised by those who should have been her champions. There was no one there to help her stand tall, yet she did manage to forge a career as a librarian until ill health forced her early retirement. Now she is the broken victim of the state benefit system, but trying to maintain her independence and dignity as best she can while coping with local authority bureaucracy.

The Spectre of Abuse Is Still With Us

I have been contacted by a young mother who knows her six-year-old daughter is being abused by her father and older step-brother. She is not being helped by the very authorities that are supposed to be there to do that. This is where, we the internet community can help.

I have re-posted and re-blogged the SOS from the unfortunate young mother in the hope that the story will reverberate throughout the internet/Wordpress blogs and Facebook pages of my online friends.

This abusive husband and father has spawned an equally abusive eleven-year-old son who is perpetuating the abuse and trauma he suffered at the hands of his father. He is abusing his six-year-old stepsister; behaviour that is being actively condoned by their father when the little girl is taken on visits that she does not want, but have been so ordered by the courts. 

It must stop. We must stop it. Please help by copying and reposting on your websites too.

Toni Maguire wrote a book, Don’t Tell Mummy. It was all about the same thing – only the mother in that story did nothing; she deliberately let her daughter suffer abuse and trauma. This young mother – mrswrongchoice – is desperately trying to help her child. We must not let her cries fall on deaf ears.

The Spectre of Sexual Abuse

The spectre of sexual abuse being prevalent in yet more aspects of the daily life of our young people, is one that hits at the foundation and heart of modern culture, but it is time to look hard at what we call ‘human-nature’.

Sexual abuse and exploitation is as old as time itself and no one is able to explain why humans should perpetrate such vile acts upon the young of the species.

Psychiatrists and psychologists have tried and therapists attempt to deal with victims and perpetrators. All admit their success rate falls short of expectations – but it is necessary for them to try.

Nevertheless, while politicians wring their hands and the legal fraternity rake in the money bags, little is being done. The will to succeed and the necessary funding to train psychiatrists from already qualified doctors, as well as psychologists and therapists from suitably qualified candidates, must be regarded as every bit as critical as those of Brexit and immigration. Experts are in short supply as are designated premises; purpose-built premises are almost non-existent.

From past experience, I am afraid the current revelations will prove to be another storm in the proverbial teacup – debated hotly by our politicians for an all too short period; tossed around by the popular media, and then dumped on a back burner.

Meanwhile, the victims will continue to cry in vain for justice. They may end up in exactly the same way as the families of the Aberfan disaster in 1966 who were ignored by Lord Robens, chairman of the National Coal Board, and backed by Lord Tonypandy – then George Thomas MP – at the Welsh Office, told to pay for the clean up themselves from the disaster fund. Robens accepted no responsibility for the disaster – having ignored all warnings, and arrogantly proceeded to travel to America aboard the ‘Queen Mary’ where he later delivered lectures on ‘Health & Safety’. This injustice was not rectified until 2007.

Fifty years is a long time to wait for justice. Too many victims of sexual exploitation have gone to their graves still waiting. I believe many more may do the same unless those with the power to do so determine that events must move more surely – and more swiftly so justice can be delivered.